batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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