just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
