So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
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As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
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Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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