These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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