I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
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THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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