she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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