he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
