At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I have fence marks all over my body
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
