hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
