just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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