we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
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