She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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