you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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