i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
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