so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
My bed smells like the plague
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
