i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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