no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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