Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
