im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
