scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
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At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
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I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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