If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
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