weddingsv make me drug and hornr
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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