Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I'm passing your future prison.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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