none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize