I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
