Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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