I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
