when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Randomize