this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
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