i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
