is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
my liver is dry heaving
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
