i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
