they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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