Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
