i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
