it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize