Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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