i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize