"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Randomize
