i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
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SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
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I'm gonna fight the coyote
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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