I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize