So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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