guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
