i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Randomize
