I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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