i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
ugly people sure do ruin things
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
