I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
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