Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
