The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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