Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Randomize
