I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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