New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
