you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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