I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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