I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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