He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Please don't give away my fajitas
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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