worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the night ended with taco bell and tears
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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