We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
